Vampira's Lot
How it Feels
Bleed into me
Revive all it is I constantly see
Bleed into me
Revive all it is I constantly see
Broken Soul
Broken soul just let some light through,
the whispers behind you are coming to the fore,
wrapped in bandages of yesteryear,
what I wouldn't give to reach a hand to tug at them,
healing breaths beneath lashes sweeping,
as the tears caress slowly weeping,
broken soul I care for you,
will never really mend till you're by my side,
to defend,
me,
from all the feelings I've come to know,
until again I am whole,
where we are two broken souls.
Broken soul just let some light through,
the whispers behind you are coming to the fore,
wrapped in bandages of yesteryear,
what I wouldn't give to reach a hand to tug at them,
healing breaths beneath lashes sweeping,
as the tears caress slowly weeping,
broken soul I care for you,
will never really mend till you're by my side,
to defend,
me,
from all the feelings I've come to know,
until again I am whole,
where we are two broken souls.
Another Rut
Approve of me please,
see me plead,
exit of things freed,
liberated into a knot,
you're what I've got.
If you weren't witness was it really worth it?
If I am without you to see it,
do I really care whether it is there?
My will is shot,
welcome to all I've sought,
enter Vampira's Lot.
Approve of me please,
see me plead,
exit of things freed,
liberated into a knot,
you're what I've got.
If you weren't witness was it really worth it?
If I am without you to see it,
do I really care whether it is there?
My will is shot,
welcome to all I've sought,
enter Vampira's Lot.
Salem had a lot.
Why can't Vampira?
Why can't Vampira?
The Parallel
Tell me all,
endless well washing despair away,
wipe the slate,
never too late,
in the nights demons rage,
cage escapades.
They fall all over you like panting glass figurines,
they,
so irresistible,
so beautiful,
much did spill,
till ill,
filled,
laid it out on the wooden kitchen table,
said it all,
till tranquil.
Always and from here,
a parallel watches over you,
embraces creeping dark,
keeps it at bay,
fends off the blood hounds on a trail,
using it's might to conquer the hungry burdens,
which lay in wait to dine on the carcass they will surely find,
wanting to mess with your mind,
until they have drained you till barely a whisper,
sinister,
seeing self used as a worn trinket,
they,
unable to see past a pretty face,
wanting to have the glow in their weak stead,
so they can be fed.
Here,
it,
the parallel,
force of good and evil even and equal,
I breath out,
washing over you,
to wash their intentions away,
make them vanish again into a turmoil of their yesterdays,
oh the sweet daze,
as the wind calls to your inner rhythms,
calls from the here and now,
saturate in the certainty,
that you are perfection in form,
but inside,
oh on your inside,
beyond physical sight,
you are the brightest day and darkest night,
and everything in between,
you are the reality of the dream.
Tell me all,
endless well washing despair away,
wipe the slate,
never too late,
in the nights demons rage,
cage escapades.
They fall all over you like panting glass figurines,
they,
so irresistible,
so beautiful,
much did spill,
till ill,
filled,
laid it out on the wooden kitchen table,
said it all,
till tranquil.
Always and from here,
a parallel watches over you,
embraces creeping dark,
keeps it at bay,
fends off the blood hounds on a trail,
using it's might to conquer the hungry burdens,
which lay in wait to dine on the carcass they will surely find,
wanting to mess with your mind,
until they have drained you till barely a whisper,
sinister,
seeing self used as a worn trinket,
they,
unable to see past a pretty face,
wanting to have the glow in their weak stead,
so they can be fed.
Here,
it,
the parallel,
force of good and evil even and equal,
I breath out,
washing over you,
to wash their intentions away,
make them vanish again into a turmoil of their yesterdays,
oh the sweet daze,
as the wind calls to your inner rhythms,
calls from the here and now,
saturate in the certainty,
that you are perfection in form,
but inside,
oh on your inside,
beyond physical sight,
you are the brightest day and darkest night,
and everything in between,
you are the reality of the dream.
Breed
You and I are of a breed that wonders why those exerting to show their evil sides must try so,
with every effort they parade how dark they must be,
so they can get admired for their mire,
to be hounded by their love slaves,
and we watch and say,
that's child's play.
You and I are of a breed that wonders why those exerting to show their evil sides must try so,
with every effort they parade how dark they must be,
so they can get admired for their mire,
to be hounded by their love slaves,
and we watch and say,
that's child's play.
Up Ahead
Racing you in my dreams,
asphalt screams,
the night,
the sting of grit,
teasing death,
it's where I'm lit.
Racing you in my dreams,
asphalt screams,
the night,
the sting of grit,
teasing death,
it's where I'm lit.
Stun
Black melodies shared as though songs of courting,
nothing frilly or light,
like he knew my delight,
only one who seemed could see through me,
could see I couldn't really relate,
could know the notes to present to she,
to unravel,
and watch it seep,
to unfold the abyss that extended deep,
to know the steps past the guarded keep,
a parry with pounces at drawbridges held in close,
there was nothing he ever had to say to tell me I was got,
not even a delay,
he just pressed play.
Black melodies shared as though songs of courting,
nothing frilly or light,
like he knew my delight,
only one who seemed could see through me,
could see I couldn't really relate,
could know the notes to present to she,
to unravel,
and watch it seep,
to unfold the abyss that extended deep,
to know the steps past the guarded keep,
a parry with pounces at drawbridges held in close,
there was nothing he ever had to say to tell me I was got,
not even a delay,
he just pressed play.
Free
You explain your jokes but I always get them right off the bat,
guess you're just not used to that,
talking to someone just like yourself,
walking a pathway to the places that seem quite apparent to thee and me,
in a world of twos,
man are we ever free.
You explain your jokes but I always get them right off the bat,
guess you're just not used to that,
talking to someone just like yourself,
walking a pathway to the places that seem quite apparent to thee and me,
in a world of twos,
man are we ever free.
The Bright Side
I'm glad poetry is labeled fiction,
a factual account could cause some friction,
let me be clear in my diction,
the hard cold truth would swamp attempted fantasy,
we'll stick to good old creative machinations,
leave the blood-caked realities in the ground,
keep'in it light,
enter imagination.
I'm glad poetry is labeled fiction,
a factual account could cause some friction,
let me be clear in my diction,
the hard cold truth would swamp attempted fantasy,
we'll stick to good old creative machinations,
leave the blood-caked realities in the ground,
keep'in it light,
enter imagination.
Untitled
The pain giver sends to the greedy receiver,
oh kindred souls they are,
bleeding out all the hurt they exude,
pushing towards those outer walls,
afraid to be found afraid to be lost,
uniting at any cost,
pulled apart like centrifugal force,
letting go is so divine,
feed the sick need for this,
always just a thought away,
find themselves amidst the pain,
always the same,
they never left they never came.
The pain giver sends to the greedy receiver,
oh kindred souls they are,
bleeding out all the hurt they exude,
pushing towards those outer walls,
afraid to be found afraid to be lost,
uniting at any cost,
pulled apart like centrifugal force,
letting go is so divine,
feed the sick need for this,
always just a thought away,
find themselves amidst the pain,
always the same,
they never left they never came.
Time Streams
In a stupor, a daydream of sorts,
you sat on your old school couch and wrote a song for me,
you said it came from a place you couldn't explain,
but that I left a forever mark on you,
perhaps even a stain,
and you strummed and you sang and you played,
and you took my breath away,
and as I sat there elated,
consecrated,
reality set me back on a straight course,
it sweetly sliced like a knife,
oh wait,
that was another life.
In a stupor, a daydream of sorts,
you sat on your old school couch and wrote a song for me,
you said it came from a place you couldn't explain,
but that I left a forever mark on you,
perhaps even a stain,
and you strummed and you sang and you played,
and you took my breath away,
and as I sat there elated,
consecrated,
reality set me back on a straight course,
it sweetly sliced like a knife,
oh wait,
that was another life.
my writing isn't a skill but a broken heart bleeding all over your page
Mental Torture
Let's visit awhile in this mental hell,
our collective myths we tell ourselves to avoid the nightmare,
well,
they're hitting another dry spell,
here comes the monsoon,
I'll see you soon in our world,
on all fours,
slowly turning the wretched keys to all these attic doors,
the spin,
I crawl within,
the hurricane of you,
and I grip to my anguish harder,
hoping the days go faster,
till the next time around,
to start the wheel of life again,
to yet again play in our cherished mental disaster,
here there is no servant nor master,
there is only harder and faster.
Let's visit awhile in this mental hell,
our collective myths we tell ourselves to avoid the nightmare,
well,
they're hitting another dry spell,
here comes the monsoon,
I'll see you soon in our world,
on all fours,
slowly turning the wretched keys to all these attic doors,
the spin,
I crawl within,
the hurricane of you,
and I grip to my anguish harder,
hoping the days go faster,
till the next time around,
to start the wheel of life again,
to yet again play in our cherished mental disaster,
here there is no servant nor master,
there is only harder and faster.
Delusional
In my mind's eye I'd have to revamp things,
but you can make things looks good,
even camping,
stepping over twigs with muddied feet like some swamp thing,
must be beautiful to be with you,
to see the sun rays through and through,
I seem to know where you've been and what you've done,
could describe all the times we've met,
but when I really come to think of it,
I don't even know your favourite color yet.
In my mind's eye I'd have to revamp things,
but you can make things looks good,
even camping,
stepping over twigs with muddied feet like some swamp thing,
must be beautiful to be with you,
to see the sun rays through and through,
I seem to know where you've been and what you've done,
could describe all the times we've met,
but when I really come to think of it,
I don't even know your favourite color yet.
Rewind
As the liquid took hold,
It drowned my boy until I screamed from his past into his wayward ear,
My dear it's me you want to hear,
I'm rapping at the door,
I'm so so very near,
You are loved more than a God could even feel,
Don't cover your fire or put it out with the waters of vacant memories,
Because I am in them and if you forgot me or yourself,
I'd never live it down,
I'd rather slay through all my foliage of current grim fact,
Rather face my demons sleeping,
To remind you that being forgotten is worse than my spiritual weeping,
It's the stand I'm keeping,
I'll risk my sanity seeping,
To preserve what is always in the annals of time lingering and steeping.
As the liquid took hold,
It drowned my boy until I screamed from his past into his wayward ear,
My dear it's me you want to hear,
I'm rapping at the door,
I'm so so very near,
You are loved more than a God could even feel,
Don't cover your fire or put it out with the waters of vacant memories,
Because I am in them and if you forgot me or yourself,
I'd never live it down,
I'd rather slay through all my foliage of current grim fact,
Rather face my demons sleeping,
To remind you that being forgotten is worse than my spiritual weeping,
It's the stand I'm keeping,
I'll risk my sanity seeping,
To preserve what is always in the annals of time lingering and steeping.
Through
They're always taking and taking from you,
guzzling you like there's no tomorrow,
slurping from the fountain like their rains from skies have been denied,
when I ask of you a morsel,
it's a symmetry of space,
I won't be greedy nor will I take,
maybe partake,
I really don't want anything from you,
I just happen to know to get through,
what I have to do,
as that's what you are used to.
They're always taking and taking from you,
guzzling you like there's no tomorrow,
slurping from the fountain like their rains from skies have been denied,
when I ask of you a morsel,
it's a symmetry of space,
I won't be greedy nor will I take,
maybe partake,
I really don't want anything from you,
I just happen to know to get through,
what I have to do,
as that's what you are used to.
Summer
Fire burns pure white hot
vanquishes all as the force of nature descends upon and awakens the dead,
pulling pulverized bodies from marshes,
peeling flesh off metal and pavement,
vaporizing their doomed hells,
made pristine,
in my deaths, if they were honest good deaths,
then I left with your face in my mind,
if they were cowardly then I left behind a lie,
the turmoil was not to face betrayals,
but to have perished not with an honest view,
the hereafter never called as I was it's maker,
and as I faced it again and again,
treacherous endings swallowed me not through my pain but in the wake of my abandoning all I stood for,
to the deep core,
the times I said goodbye pleading that I couldn't let go,
it was not the murder, the darkness and hate I was chained to,
but deep within the fifth plain of dimension,
hiding behind all the caked on shuns of our eons,
there I witnessed the outpouring of all our times of exhilaration,
the combining into something beyond rhyme or reason,
it's what I've been running from,
our endless summers,
the anticipation of the only thing true,
anticipation to waking up to the playground of you.
Fire burns pure white hot
vanquishes all as the force of nature descends upon and awakens the dead,
pulling pulverized bodies from marshes,
peeling flesh off metal and pavement,
vaporizing their doomed hells,
made pristine,
in my deaths, if they were honest good deaths,
then I left with your face in my mind,
if they were cowardly then I left behind a lie,
the turmoil was not to face betrayals,
but to have perished not with an honest view,
the hereafter never called as I was it's maker,
and as I faced it again and again,
treacherous endings swallowed me not through my pain but in the wake of my abandoning all I stood for,
to the deep core,
the times I said goodbye pleading that I couldn't let go,
it was not the murder, the darkness and hate I was chained to,
but deep within the fifth plain of dimension,
hiding behind all the caked on shuns of our eons,
there I witnessed the outpouring of all our times of exhilaration,
the combining into something beyond rhyme or reason,
it's what I've been running from,
our endless summers,
the anticipation of the only thing true,
anticipation to waking up to the playground of you.
Tip of the Blade
Within all my bravery I sense something cowardly
wielded by the likes of I
my back to you I draw my sword
motion quick like sin
then...
I catch your reflection in her steel
and beside it my eye
behind us the echoing sky
bearing witness to a twisted viciousness
some sort of capriciousness
leaves me gasping as I release my grip
with her slice I've ended so many tales
but as you watch
these attempted swipes create more trails
I have kept you alive again
confused by where I end and where you begin
questioning my ability to turn deepest hurt to betrayal of the very sweetest nature
balancing the topic of integrity
happy she is sheathed again unable to resonate my fierce desire
to say words that could only be born out of atomic fire
to show a passion that is to die for
to be a vessel to remind all who cross this path
once you have been loved by me
there is no coming back
Within all my bravery I sense something cowardly
wielded by the likes of I
my back to you I draw my sword
motion quick like sin
then...
I catch your reflection in her steel
and beside it my eye
behind us the echoing sky
bearing witness to a twisted viciousness
some sort of capriciousness
leaves me gasping as I release my grip
with her slice I've ended so many tales
but as you watch
these attempted swipes create more trails
I have kept you alive again
confused by where I end and where you begin
questioning my ability to turn deepest hurt to betrayal of the very sweetest nature
balancing the topic of integrity
happy she is sheathed again unable to resonate my fierce desire
to say words that could only be born out of atomic fire
to show a passion that is to die for
to be a vessel to remind all who cross this path
once you have been loved by me
there is no coming back
Conflicted
How can something so good make you feel so bad...
conflicted and complicated,
never placated,
being the best of the worst part of me,
you're all I ever wanted to be.
How can something so good make you feel so bad...
conflicted and complicated,
never placated,
being the best of the worst part of me,
you're all I ever wanted to be.
Mere
Take this space,
Let me nestle awhile,
I won't intrude,
Just resting here in the flood of time,
The here and now wash over me,
I can't speak,
My will is meek,
Taken aback over and over again,
Still amazed to find,
Something never quite erasable,
But it's essence always penetrable,
I've started walking back into our world,
It's how it's got to be,
I'll take a corner only I vow,
That's all I was ever allotted anyhow.
Take this space,
Let me nestle awhile,
I won't intrude,
Just resting here in the flood of time,
The here and now wash over me,
I can't speak,
My will is meek,
Taken aback over and over again,
Still amazed to find,
Something never quite erasable,
But it's essence always penetrable,
I've started walking back into our world,
It's how it's got to be,
I'll take a corner only I vow,
That's all I was ever allotted anyhow.
Died and Gone to Hell
If it wasn't for you I don't even know if I could write one line,
here before me is a muse that is simply divine,
I must've died and gone to hell,
for here I dwell,
the magician outsmarted by one with the incantation,
now tangled in her own spell,
if I would've known how effective it was I may have used it well,
before it came snapping back on me,
now I just sit back and enjoy the view,
of the most enchanting parts of all I ever wished I could flee.
If it wasn't for you I don't even know if I could write one line,
here before me is a muse that is simply divine,
I must've died and gone to hell,
for here I dwell,
the magician outsmarted by one with the incantation,
now tangled in her own spell,
if I would've known how effective it was I may have used it well,
before it came snapping back on me,
now I just sit back and enjoy the view,
of the most enchanting parts of all I ever wished I could flee.
Sacred Lot
There was a place,
a simple lot,
showed her things,
things she'd never recover from,
so ordinary yet so ever extraordinary,
so mundane yet a magic of sorts,
the cold dead and buried unions of the long past had not only been wiped but was as if they'd never even entered the light of any day,
and in that lot,
there she saw,
in a vehicle so plain,
that though there were many to fight for,
and they all mattered,
that a single one had awoken a sunburst,
a thirst,
something never relegated to mere satiation,
hunger and craving returned anew,
such a simple lot,
such unmemorable words,
but behind it all,
the plot,
behind stood all their shared worlds,
they could have talked of chipping paint,
and that fire would burn higher and higher,
to never have believed one could be ever ignited again,
to truly have felt dead to giving oneself complete,
to be shown existence through another,
to be shown that beneath the cruelty in her heart of vengeance,
there was something more to push on for,
only she could ever truly know the impact of that night,
though still stained and folding on the inside,
what was revealed meant more than anything ever could,
to trust another with the key to all one's doors,
to hope they never turn them as they would have overpowered all willpower,
to be settled sweetly to rest without a scrape,
that night it was love,
the idea denigrated to mere lore,
it replaced her hate.
There was a place,
a simple lot,
showed her things,
things she'd never recover from,
so ordinary yet so ever extraordinary,
so mundane yet a magic of sorts,
the cold dead and buried unions of the long past had not only been wiped but was as if they'd never even entered the light of any day,
and in that lot,
there she saw,
in a vehicle so plain,
that though there were many to fight for,
and they all mattered,
that a single one had awoken a sunburst,
a thirst,
something never relegated to mere satiation,
hunger and craving returned anew,
such a simple lot,
such unmemorable words,
but behind it all,
the plot,
behind stood all their shared worlds,
they could have talked of chipping paint,
and that fire would burn higher and higher,
to never have believed one could be ever ignited again,
to truly have felt dead to giving oneself complete,
to be shown existence through another,
to be shown that beneath the cruelty in her heart of vengeance,
there was something more to push on for,
only she could ever truly know the impact of that night,
though still stained and folding on the inside,
what was revealed meant more than anything ever could,
to trust another with the key to all one's doors,
to hope they never turn them as they would have overpowered all willpower,
to be settled sweetly to rest without a scrape,
that night it was love,
the idea denigrated to mere lore,
it replaced her hate.
Neglecting You
Rules rules rules!
You fools!
Pay heed!
Making my ears bleed!
Spread your seed like a weed,
Spread your crumby lines closing in tighter and tighter,
But you didn't count on the fact I am a fighter.
Rules rules rules!
You fools!
Pay heed!
Making my ears bleed!
Spread your seed like a weed,
Spread your crumby lines closing in tighter and tighter,
But you didn't count on the fact I am a fighter.
Shove It
I don't have your ADHD,
your BS PTSD,
I have a syndrome you should get used to,
it's called simply FU
I don't have your ADHD,
your BS PTSD,
I have a syndrome you should get used to,
it's called simply FU
Paradox
Only the one the paradox pertained to,
could ever fully relate or unwind the riddle,
stretch it out to make sense of the words,
words couched in confusion straight down the middle.
Only the one the paradox pertained to,
could ever fully relate or unwind the riddle,
stretch it out to make sense of the words,
words couched in confusion straight down the middle.
Just Shy
Just shy in age,
around the same time,
around the block,
around our eternal clock,
sometimes we mess up and it doesn't end well,
sad turmoil hell,
other times there to see you go,
or no, you're the last thing in vision as my grips ease off,
but no matter the final page,
no matter what was written,
I'll soon awake and open my eyes,
and just shy,
nearby,
will be someone I have called my own,
I know I'm never alone.
Just shy in age,
around the same time,
around the block,
around our eternal clock,
sometimes we mess up and it doesn't end well,
sad turmoil hell,
other times there to see you go,
or no, you're the last thing in vision as my grips ease off,
but no matter the final page,
no matter what was written,
I'll soon awake and open my eyes,
and just shy,
nearby,
will be someone I have called my own,
I know I'm never alone.
Back to Front
Better days ahead
Shedding the anchor
Brought the monster to it's knees
Sickened I have been by thee and me
Steering clear
Severed parts drop from the fore
Engulfed all the past and spit it out into the future
Let the head roll
Help it all drain
Don't apply the tincture
Pull at the suture
Promise it'll wash away
All the hate fades
Better days ahead
Shedding the anchor
Brought the monster to it's knees
Sickened I have been by thee and me
Steering clear
Severed parts drop from the fore
Engulfed all the past and spit it out into the future
Let the head roll
Help it all drain
Don't apply the tincture
Pull at the suture
Promise it'll wash away
All the hate fades
Shelter
Hold tight to your noise,
keep your silence close,
your walls closer,
those damn ghosts,
they always get in anyway,
tipping Universal scales,
dripping with all that unveils,
letting through the wails,
seeing all that pales,
those frick'in demonic skills,
wrought with all their ills,
witness all that kills,
tripping on barbed wire,
of the mind kind,
a gruelling find,
only a fool wouldn't run for cover,
only a pawn wouldn't stay gone,
sweating now,
escaped it somehow,
you're wearing it now,
follow in stride,
wet the appetite,
ignite your fight,
aim your sights,
allow the gun to follow suit,
worst case is,
miss a few,
as you learn to shoot.
Hold tight to your noise,
keep your silence close,
your walls closer,
those damn ghosts,
they always get in anyway,
tipping Universal scales,
dripping with all that unveils,
letting through the wails,
seeing all that pales,
those frick'in demonic skills,
wrought with all their ills,
witness all that kills,
tripping on barbed wire,
of the mind kind,
a gruelling find,
only a fool wouldn't run for cover,
only a pawn wouldn't stay gone,
sweating now,
escaped it somehow,
you're wearing it now,
follow in stride,
wet the appetite,
ignite your fight,
aim your sights,
allow the gun to follow suit,
worst case is,
miss a few,
as you learn to shoot.
Beckoning
My world through those eyes I never see,
scratching surfaces that never reach the light of day,
it's not here and I'm not there,
it's sublime in my mind,
if only one could meet it and taste it,
they'd surely never waste it.
My world through those eyes I never see,
scratching surfaces that never reach the light of day,
it's not here and I'm not there,
it's sublime in my mind,
if only one could meet it and taste it,
they'd surely never waste it.
Swim
Make me swim for the shore,
I am the engulfed beyond all recognition,
the dusty drawer opened to the current century,
a memory swatch,
try this, just watch,
but your power over me...only never exercised,
calls from a place long burned to the ground,
gone but still I hound,
a need to relive the profound,
hear that sound?
Those gargles as I go under again and drown.
Make me swim for the shore,
I am the engulfed beyond all recognition,
the dusty drawer opened to the current century,
a memory swatch,
try this, just watch,
but your power over me...only never exercised,
calls from a place long burned to the ground,
gone but still I hound,
a need to relive the profound,
hear that sound?
Those gargles as I go under again and drown.
Away
Where I go I'll never really know,
it's out and it's far away,
the chains, they are so far down there in those gruesome dungeons bare,
you can't hold me,
can't take me anywhere.
Where I go I'll never really know,
it's out and it's far away,
the chains, they are so far down there in those gruesome dungeons bare,
you can't hold me,
can't take me anywhere.
Your Power
Powerful raging sea,
see me,
soar so high,
fall harder from above the clouds,
as largely as one can command,
their needs do demand,
not a tidal wave,
just a wink behind a slight of hand,
beguiled to know,
though the universe one can devour,
one could feel swept away like a flower.
Powerful raging sea,
see me,
soar so high,
fall harder from above the clouds,
as largely as one can command,
their needs do demand,
not a tidal wave,
just a wink behind a slight of hand,
beguiled to know,
though the universe one can devour,
one could feel swept away like a flower.
RIP
Never even thought of that phrase since,
don't even know how I could feel so cheesy as to think such a thing,
don't quite get why this earlier self keeps haunting,
it's really got me,
I really feel it's sting,
as I imagine words from my lips,
again calling you my everything.
Never even thought of that phrase since,
don't even know how I could feel so cheesy as to think such a thing,
don't quite get why this earlier self keeps haunting,
it's really got me,
I really feel it's sting,
as I imagine words from my lips,
again calling you my everything.
Black Hole
I became black ice,
wand no longer wielded magic just death,
as we walked away that long night ago,
the one keeping my stride knew not what had transpired,
that I was dying inside,
drawing a curtain over all I saw there,
while to the world cold as hard packed snow,
changed where I would go,
affected my everywhere,
taught me that there are things worth fighting for,
but that sometimes you don't just lose the war,
you vanish from even your own sense of location,
all you now know is drenched only in the spaces of separation.
I became black ice,
wand no longer wielded magic just death,
as we walked away that long night ago,
the one keeping my stride knew not what had transpired,
that I was dying inside,
drawing a curtain over all I saw there,
while to the world cold as hard packed snow,
changed where I would go,
affected my everywhere,
taught me that there are things worth fighting for,
but that sometimes you don't just lose the war,
you vanish from even your own sense of location,
all you now know is drenched only in the spaces of separation.
Sadist
Bet it causes him joy,
watching from his distance,
as she tears her mind apart,
back to the start,
tickled pink,
devoid of heart,
dripping crimson,
as he squeezes out all her emotion,
outpour,
she'll be his mental whore,
making him feel like the centre of the world,
because he is,
as the minutes tick by,
turn into hours, into weeks, into years,
seemingly eons,
dragging out the plot,
a willing victim,
he's never fought.
Bet it causes him joy,
watching from his distance,
as she tears her mind apart,
back to the start,
tickled pink,
devoid of heart,
dripping crimson,
as he squeezes out all her emotion,
outpour,
she'll be his mental whore,
making him feel like the centre of the world,
because he is,
as the minutes tick by,
turn into hours, into weeks, into years,
seemingly eons,
dragging out the plot,
a willing victim,
he's never fought.
Under Our Lid
The sky looks so dark like crying bruises of pained blue,
same one watches over me as it does you,
though so far apart,
we share one thing in common this here night,
it is this heaven that threatens to cry,
down upon us,
to remind of the grief that gets swept and carried,
what a beautiful sight,
reminds me of my rotting emotions,
tidings of deepest grey,
all those feelings I'm never able to slay.
The sky looks so dark like crying bruises of pained blue,
same one watches over me as it does you,
though so far apart,
we share one thing in common this here night,
it is this heaven that threatens to cry,
down upon us,
to remind of the grief that gets swept and carried,
what a beautiful sight,
reminds me of my rotting emotions,
tidings of deepest grey,
all those feelings I'm never able to slay.
Love You More
Walked to the spots we frequented,
said under construction just like our tomorrows,
nothing there but memories,
just nothing,
like our today,
but who loves who more...
we've never settled that debate.
Walked to the spots we frequented,
said under construction just like our tomorrows,
nothing there but memories,
just nothing,
like our today,
but who loves who more...
we've never settled that debate.
Young Love
Maybe age wasn't really the centre of all that frothing...
maybe you had guts to still feel something,
before you just let the phone ring and ring,
while you shut yourself behind closed doors,
and in the heat of those nights,
melancholy still dripping from your pores,
witness anew those feelings could exist,
drowns you in all you forgot,
reminds you how cold you have now become,
nothing and then some,
bittersweet young love,
shows you all you are and all you are without,
sweetly smiles as you gouge your inner eyes out.
Maybe age wasn't really the centre of all that frothing...
maybe you had guts to still feel something,
before you just let the phone ring and ring,
while you shut yourself behind closed doors,
and in the heat of those nights,
melancholy still dripping from your pores,
witness anew those feelings could exist,
drowns you in all you forgot,
reminds you how cold you have now become,
nothing and then some,
bittersweet young love,
shows you all you are and all you are without,
sweetly smiles as you gouge your inner eyes out.
Loop
They could chain my flesh like the quicksand that sinks below,
I'd still revive off the idea of you as the drowning overcame,
they could starve and maim and in between the lines of sheer pain,
I'd find you and follow again,
been to the gallows and beyond for that beckoning fruit,
they took my life over and over while I got the loot,
their knives go deep and my life seeps,
in my mind your face I keep,
as they drag me under cursing my name,
never really cared much for fame anyway,
their faces will change and so will the game,
but you will always be the same.
They could chain my flesh like the quicksand that sinks below,
I'd still revive off the idea of you as the drowning overcame,
they could starve and maim and in between the lines of sheer pain,
I'd find you and follow again,
been to the gallows and beyond for that beckoning fruit,
they took my life over and over while I got the loot,
their knives go deep and my life seeps,
in my mind your face I keep,
as they drag me under cursing my name,
never really cared much for fame anyway,
their faces will change and so will the game,
but you will always be the same.
Spin Bin
Hole in the world just a void through and through,
sterile life in a test tube smothers my yearning,
I can only go back now to remember burning,
to know what it is that is missing,
like the venom from her hissing,
purest loss but can't just bury it all,
but live it like a nightmare through every moment and every cell,
watching you go is my personal Hell,
unending motions away from me,
knowing you are there but not here,
I live in a place that always shuts the door in my face,
having everything but no you,
having consciousness as it bears down on me,
don't even want to cover it,
in case I'd forget,
the only thing worth the regret.
Hole in the world just a void through and through,
sterile life in a test tube smothers my yearning,
I can only go back now to remember burning,
to know what it is that is missing,
like the venom from her hissing,
purest loss but can't just bury it all,
but live it like a nightmare through every moment and every cell,
watching you go is my personal Hell,
unending motions away from me,
knowing you are there but not here,
I live in a place that always shuts the door in my face,
having everything but no you,
having consciousness as it bears down on me,
don't even want to cover it,
in case I'd forget,
the only thing worth the regret.
Drive By Shooting
At least I was dead before,
now just perpetually aware of what I am missing,
thanks for stopping by and for all the reviving,
glad to know you'll keep surviving,
without me,
glad to know I can still feel,
before you dropped in that wasn't quite real.
At least I was dead before,
now just perpetually aware of what I am missing,
thanks for stopping by and for all the reviving,
glad to know you'll keep surviving,
without me,
glad to know I can still feel,
before you dropped in that wasn't quite real.
Voice-over
Someone else always sang what was too scary to utter,
roll sound and maybe you'll believe my mind ain't in this here gutter,
listen to him sputter,
all my thoughts and longings,
for you I'd trade all my belongings.
Someone else always sang what was too scary to utter,
roll sound and maybe you'll believe my mind ain't in this here gutter,
listen to him sputter,
all my thoughts and longings,
for you I'd trade all my belongings.
Puzzles
Reading meanings three layers down,
knowing me,
she don't mess around,
if you think it,
can almost lick it,
probably legit,
subtleties coo and stroke the world,
ingenious snarling in my head,
she,
causing overdue dread.
Reading meanings three layers down,
knowing me,
she don't mess around,
if you think it,
can almost lick it,
probably legit,
subtleties coo and stroke the world,
ingenious snarling in my head,
she,
causing overdue dread.
Withdrawals
Tool to my liking,
shaking as your chemical drips to the floor,
writhing pain on my insides,
without you,
rotting and flaking,
love to hate you,
hate that I loved you,
meet you in hellfire or then some,
enraged to want you still,
ears bleed as you plant your seed,
impregnating my mind over and over and forever,
married to electronics,
nothing remotely human here,
in love with the monster of my nightmares,
tire tracks across my soul,
the marks that remain,
just another song stands in your place.
Tool to my liking,
shaking as your chemical drips to the floor,
writhing pain on my insides,
without you,
rotting and flaking,
love to hate you,
hate that I loved you,
meet you in hellfire or then some,
enraged to want you still,
ears bleed as you plant your seed,
impregnating my mind over and over and forever,
married to electronics,
nothing remotely human here,
in love with the monster of my nightmares,
tire tracks across my soul,
the marks that remain,
just another song stands in your place.
Chomp
Giving me breadcrumbs but you know I want the meal,
a diet for the starving,
chewing slow,
more slowly in the carving,
dinner conversation of the mundane,
if this is dessert,
I'd rather stay alone and insane.
Giving me breadcrumbs but you know I want the meal,
a diet for the starving,
chewing slow,
more slowly in the carving,
dinner conversation of the mundane,
if this is dessert,
I'd rather stay alone and insane.
Socialites
I only laugh when the jokes are funny,
you like scrambled but I'll throw my eggs runny,
they aim to please,
you wished I'd appease,
but I have a singular disease,
yearn for me to fit in and I'll aim to lead,
I won't giggle on the lap of some childlike chap,
I'll outwit you and push you to question your allegiance,
drip into your fabric with intelligence,
and when the night comes,
when the socialites are taking their beauty sleep,
it's my body you'll long to keep,
somewhere hidden within deep,
you will have already forgotten them,
it's for my company you will always weep.
I only laugh when the jokes are funny,
you like scrambled but I'll throw my eggs runny,
they aim to please,
you wished I'd appease,
but I have a singular disease,
yearn for me to fit in and I'll aim to lead,
I won't giggle on the lap of some childlike chap,
I'll outwit you and push you to question your allegiance,
drip into your fabric with intelligence,
and when the night comes,
when the socialites are taking their beauty sleep,
it's my body you'll long to keep,
somewhere hidden within deep,
you will have already forgotten them,
it's for my company you will always weep.
Case Closed
Left me the ultimate of fucked up,
I can't get enough so I'll just suck this up,
the masochist in me feeds on all she sees,
grasping at straws of tapering sanity,
even the divine have gotta eat.
Left me the ultimate of fucked up,
I can't get enough so I'll just suck this up,
the masochist in me feeds on all she sees,
grasping at straws of tapering sanity,
even the divine have gotta eat.
Chess Mummy
Pinned me down, found me,
located the pillars to my world's gates,
you dominated my childhood,
you wrote it over with your story,
now I'll never be the same,
you made me love you,
and lust you through and through,
you gave it all making sure I knew all I was missing,
now forever achingly sick with it,
but I cherish your face,
here embalmed in all my disgrace,
the throne got tipped,
shift of willpower,
but I would never regret it, even a bit,
at least you know where to find me,
waiting as always here I'll be.
Pinned me down, found me,
located the pillars to my world's gates,
you dominated my childhood,
you wrote it over with your story,
now I'll never be the same,
you made me love you,
and lust you through and through,
you gave it all making sure I knew all I was missing,
now forever achingly sick with it,
but I cherish your face,
here embalmed in all my disgrace,
the throne got tipped,
shift of willpower,
but I would never regret it, even a bit,
at least you know where to find me,
waiting as always here I'll be.
Fallacy
Assumed it was a moral problem,
a mortal problem,
an amoral question of timidity,
no... it was just no you,
no you...
in all your glory and treachery,
my here is so far from rigidity,
saw more in that skull than anyone could ever begin to see,
....and I loved it there and back again,
not dumbed down,
and not numb but longing with a drooling grin,
at all your gory vacancies,
perusing all your whores,
starting wars,
never even blinked,
more impressed how someone floored me,
could astound me with the beauty of that thermal core,
and all the while...
all along... a false notion of being judged,
he began running for all the opposite reasons,
left a crater,
and in this wasteland,
the only bit of truth really left,
leaving was your only treason.
Assumed it was a moral problem,
a mortal problem,
an amoral question of timidity,
no... it was just no you,
no you...
in all your glory and treachery,
my here is so far from rigidity,
saw more in that skull than anyone could ever begin to see,
....and I loved it there and back again,
not dumbed down,
and not numb but longing with a drooling grin,
at all your gory vacancies,
perusing all your whores,
starting wars,
never even blinked,
more impressed how someone floored me,
could astound me with the beauty of that thermal core,
and all the while...
all along... a false notion of being judged,
he began running for all the opposite reasons,
left a crater,
and in this wasteland,
the only bit of truth really left,
leaving was your only treason.
